I DON'T KNOW....

Where should I start, I don't even know coz the only thing I knew is the thing that is already make me feel like I know nothing. Every thing has change so fast without i realize that I'm still finding something that I actually dont know.. Hundred questions, thousands of survey but the actual come still vary and never close to the most accurate solution. The more I do the idiot I become, the more I move the the hardest it become.

Let me tell frankly about the things that I've been doing this past few months. I dont even know or realize, one year has pass and proud coz we are still survived and still think to conquer the world that we have been created. This is us, and this is a story about 2 idiots who are think big and try to prove something in order to make sure that this world are worth enough to live. This is a story about changing the CERITA KEDAI KOPI into a REVOlution ROAD.

Me, my brotherhood and even people who knows us very well dont even know what we are trying to prove coz we dont even know why we start every thing. But what we believe, once we start our first step we are not gonna turn around even though the risk is on the high level. We start to forget our confort zone, we start to ignore our family, we start to not taking part in any activities with our close friend but the only thing that we do are keep on thinking and focusing on what we try to develop. problems and obstacles come almost every time but we do never surrender. Some other time people start to think like maybe this is not our path, maybe this is not our destiny, this is not we are suppose to do. what we have to do is take the white flag, put our guns down and surrender. 

we cant even sleep anymore, we cant even enjoy our life like any body else. While people enjoying their days we are sitting and thinking about tomorrow. While people are dreaming in the middle of the night, we are still drinking our hot coffee and figure out what is gonna happen next week. Maybe is too early for us to chase something big or maybe we still not in the right place on the right moment in the right time but what ever it is, we never think to stop this war even the war it self gonna kill us both. we dont even mind what others gonna think, we dont even care what others gonna say coz they dont really know what we have been face this past few months. we already sacrifice everything we have and we can even afford to take any single failure anymore.

pass is pass, any body can throw their critics or comment but for sure its not gonna even make us stop. As long as we dont ask any sympathy from others it means we dont burden any others. those who are trying hard to make us down, we are wishing a very good luck and feel free to continue it. We are here and we are still fighting. If the time is the factor the we are gonna make sure that we are giving time some time. If the change is the matter than, we are going to give chance another chance. This is what we believe and this is us.

I'm standing here together with my fellow colleagues call brotherhood. we are sending a clear message to everybody who stand behind us and think like we are thinking to never stop believing. If today we are nothing and people look down to us is today's problem. If tomorrow we are still fighting and still didnt win the war its tomorrows issues BUT if next few years we stand tall on the mountain that is the consequences from what we sacrifice today and tomorrow. This is US and this is REVO. we are going to keep fighting and we are going to keep moving.          

LOST TAPE ( Interview Between ME and MYSELF )

ME                         : Hi, good morning. Have a seat please. Just call me ME and I,m gonna conduct this interview.

MYSELF               : Hi ME, how are today? Glad to see you

ME                         : Feelin good,Should we start?

MYSELF               : As you wish and I bet I'm ready.

ME                         : The first, the easier, the introduction. Tell me who you are?

MYSELF               : Nice shot, by the way my name is MYSELF, Just call me ASSHOLE coz it suit me nicely and far better than AWESOME. I was born in the middle of nowhere and raise by the most kind hearted man that I ever know with the most beautiful lady in this world. I dream to be like Eistein with my own methodoly coz as far I concern, He was the greatest in his era with his inteligence mind. But, bare in mind, If he still alive, I,m proudly announce that I’m gonna challenge him into a duel and beat him with my stupidity.

ME                         : School and Education please?

MYSELF               : What could I say? School? I dont have it coz my parents did not afford to buy or build a building and turn it into a school. Dont mention the building, even the concrite is far behind from my family’s budget. In fact why did we have to force ourselft to go to the school while most of us didnt even know what is the school for?  Ask yourself, did you go to school to study or you just go coz you have to otherwise your parents will beat your down. OR, maybe some other people goes to school coz they wanna play or maybe coz their boyfried?girlfriend BUT how many of them really go to study to get a better job in the future. How many? Ten? Hundred? Maybe more maybe less. Now, comes the EDUCATION, is it important? Of coz YES, it become one of the top element to reach the fancy destination called SUCCESS. Without education only a few can stand on the top of the world, without education, we can even read or write. Without education, there is no teachers. BUT, how many people in this world think what is education has been create so far? Do one of us ever think that it has a bad side. Take a look at this, EDUCATION create personality, PERSONALITY create power, POWER create people, PEOPLE create war and WAR destroy HUMANITY. Thsi is education that I understand and like one of the actor said, " I go to school coz I know education is important but after finish my school I realize that education is not important anymore. It conclude, without education we dont even know that education is not important".

ME                         : You confuse me, could you just please tell me in a very straight forward about your opinion about people around you and what the world has offer to you?

MYSELF               : Frankly speaking, I dont have any idea about the other people because I knew all of them are busy with their daily routine. Most of them are busy complaining here and there, some of them are really hardworking to discuss other people lifes, some are addicted to become a most popular paparazi, few  of them are really strugling to fight for their future and give some meaning to their life. While, me myself personally too busy playing in my own playground with my stupid experiment to prove that I’m not stupid enough to call stupid. I dont wanna get involve in others life or judge them coz I do really appriciate what they did. Coz without people the word GOSSIP have no meaning, without people, there is no home made video . Without US the the world we are livin in is not called WORLD. Comes to the next, what the world has offer me? A lot for sure. I do take advantage on it in terms of opportunity to stand. While the others, decorate it, develop it, color it, destroy it, I’m just taking my share base on what the amount that the world has offer me. And so far, the world got served. In return, the world serve me better then I deserve.

ME                         : We reserve the best for last, so we’re going to call it a day with this question. The principle of life, do you have it?

MYSELF               : Sorry, I dont have it. But, I hold tide just a few inches in front of my eyes to make sure that i’m gonna see it almost everytime. My principle must be crystal clear. I’m a kind of person that is not easy to be predict. I dont simply welcome people to my playground coz i dont wanna ruin my toys coz I knew it take ages to build it and comes with a high price call RISK. I,m not a person who simply accept others advise coz I dont like to talk about people but I welcome people to come and discuss ideas. So judge me while you can, trust me if you want, believe me if you have to and leave me if I hurt you. I dont care if people dont like my terms of life coz probably I dont like theirs as well. My LIFE is my playground, my PLAYGROUND is my territory, my TERRITORY is my rules, my RULES is my power and the POWER gives me a CHANCE once again to prove that my life is worth enough to be live. This is my playground and its still under construction, experiment on going and if I cant make all of those inside happy at least I’m going to make one in order to ensure that I dont waste the one and the only chance that I have. If I fail, I’m going to risk my own life, but if the experiment success, its going to be a platform to those who are stand  together with me through all the process that the experiment went through.

ME                         : The time has come. So thanx for coming

MYSELF               : Can I ask something?

ME                         : Sure.

MYSELF               : Am I accepted?

ME                         : Well said, couldnt agree more. You are not just crazy but creatively insane. Welcome to the MENTAL RETARDED INSTITUTE  of STUPIDITY. Pack your bag and make yourself comfort.

MYSELF               : Thank you so much sir. I’m not going to fail you and for sure you can count on me. Looking forward to see you again soon.

WHO SIR? ME SIR?

It’s Friday, but lucky its not a Friday blues for me. I woke up this morning and I do realize I was no body, look at the road and I found out that I was far behind every body else.  Some of them are really moving fast, some of them appreciate the view, some are busy with their daily routine but still keep on moving. Then what I do?  I’m standing at the road side, appreciate the view and enjoy the day. Am I moving? Or I just fool my self pretending like nothing to worry, its gonna be a good day, I’m the hero, or I’m just a piece of junk who pretending that I’m the best but leave me with the beg call best for nothing and full with stupidity.

Ego and proud, this is what we are, no body can even deny it. The higher we are the biggest it is. This is one of the best moral values that I learned from the past. While some other people busy to make sure that they are keeping their moral value in the high pride while we are busy keep on making our ego as high as the mountain. The higher it is the proud we are. The more we have, the smaller we look to the others.  Damn, what a pride.  Is this that we’re looking for?   Should we put it as a history of our life? Is this what make us feel happy with our life that we’re  livin in?  Maybe yes and may be not. It defends. Coz what ever circumstances it’s always comes with pros and cons.  Either take the pros ignore the cons or take the cons forget the pros. Easy as like eating burgers.

The habit become the ethic, what ever we do is always become a guideline to what we are looking for without realizing we are actually some times making some a big mistake that change the route of our life. I learn something when I was a kid, in that time I was just one of the kid like the other kids. Playing around like tomorrow gonna dies. I learn one word from the surrounding, it call WHO? ME?. That word becomes a habit among us till now. In that particular time we don’t ever think what is thaw word for? What I knew, it’s a good words to play for.

Now, the flies, I’m getting older and still on the same track as before. But, what I do realize, the words that I love so much is actually is not a good words but killing me softly without realizing it. From one conversation to another conversation then I know, the meaning lies behind of WHO SIR? ME SIR?  Last time we make fun of it, now the world makes fun of me. This word is actually represent who we are and what kind of people we are. Why should we ask who if the finger pointed to our head? Why should we ask who if the eyes are looking deeply to our eyes? And why should we ask who if we are the only people who stand there. The situation makes me crazy but at the same time I was thinking how fool I am. Why should I ask if I can take advantage to volunteer? I don’t lose anything by trying, I don’t even get hurt or died if I fail to do it. Damn, if I realize this thing long time ago maybe I’m not the same anymore. Maybe I am the president but the reality, maybe is just a maybe and the reality is far bitter than the medicine.

What should I do, this is a habit, I can’t even change it anymore. It’s not just me but most of the people do the same like I did. Not many people are brave enough to raise their hand and said “let me do it” once the question has been ask, the member of the club will start busy doing something in order to avoid the situation. Once the finger has point to my head, the question will automatically, who sir? Me sir? If not me then who? The wall behind me? My chair? My books? What a shame for me.  But its ok past is past and at least I realize my mistake and I hope other people realize it too because this is the terms where the words VOLUNTEER is just an ordinary word that means something but scare the most.

This is just a sharing, for some other people out there, but for me, this is another theory that I have to look for. Even just a stupid theory but it make sense to me and change me a bit. SHY? FOOL/ its like its not in my life dictionary anymore since I’ve been called worse. Maybe this is going to change somebody who mind and for those who don’t matter just treat it as a stupid junk from a stupid person like me. Those who like it, love it. Those who don’t , Leave it.